This time (8:15 pm) last week everything was still "normal". Then one single phone call changed everything. It changed Cody from having a brother, it changed his parents from having a son, it changed Lily and Owen from having an awesome uncle.
I hate when the phone rings after 9'o clock. I just hate it. My mind just jumps to all the bad things that could happen. But 99% of the time it's not bad. But last week it was. And deep down in my heart it just felt different when the phone rang. Then 15 minutes later I got another phone call from Cody telling me that our world was about to be changed forever.
This past week has been one of the longest weeks of my life. It was full of what-if's and should've-dones. It was full of seeing family that you love to see but wish it was for a completely different reason. It was full of tears and heartbreak. I've cried so much this week I don't think I have anything left in me. And it was full of I-wish-I-can-change-it's. But I can't change anything. What was supposed to happen, happened.
Now it's trying to heal, find a new "normal" and trusting. Trying to heal the broken hearts, trying to tell Lily why she won't see her uncle anymore, and - the most important one - trusting God. All of these are so hard to do right now.
One last thought for now: I hated his politics, but I still loved him and will miss him greatly.
3 comments:
erika, our thoughts and prayers have been with all the steele's. i wish i could say i didn't know what you were going through, but unfortunately i do. it's hard, it's surreal, and for me, it still hasn't truly sunk in (2 1/2 years later). praying for healing for all of you.
Erika,
Thanks for writing that. We will continue praying for you and your family. Again, I'm so sorry for your loss!
Erika,
I am so sorry for your family's loss. I was reading on a friends page and saw that he had passed away. Please give me heartfelt condolences to your family.
Our prayers are with you,
Sarah and Joe
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